Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Facing the fears you never even saw as fears

Today I'm still a little unsteady on my "crutches" i should say.  I went to the Dr. and everything looks fine, he says I'm just very tense.  I learned a lot that a lot of my pain is from how tencse, scared and rigid i am, and i need to basically "loosen up".  So my mom came and stayed with me for part of the day, and she asked if i wanted to get lunch out, or eat in.  instantly i said eat in, i can't outside, i may fall, it may hurt so much i cry, so much unknown is out there, i can't possible go out, right!?!?  Well basically we talked a lot about facing our fears, the fear mostly right now of giving up control.  I have been in control mostly of my body due to everything that has taken place to cause me to not trust others with anything, and as she pointed out, today i have no choice but to trust those helping me, trust the doctor, and ultimately trust God. (smart woman she it ;)) 

So today i let go, relaxed and and faced the fear, even as small as leaving the house, but ya know what?? I DID IT!! mostly you prob. think I'm crazy, but that's fine because there was such a liberating feeling in knowing that i can do this, I'm going to be ok, and i can trust people, even after being hurt. 
God works through all, and it all works out!

Monday, September 27, 2010

The first, hopfully not the last

I'm attempting this once again, to blog, to keep track of life.  I've tried it in the past then forgotten about it.  I  like to read other people's blogs though so i thought well i should just really do my own, enough crazy stuff happens in my life i'm sure someone may find it funny.  So heres to a new start with a new blog.

Currently i sit in the one or two places i've been since thurs, my couch or my bed.  My surgery went well, so now its on the road to recovery.  Lots of pain meds, long naps, and tv watching, and now blog writting!. :) 

Happy Monday to all you hardworking folks out there!